You know what I realised? The only reason why I never said "NO" or "This is enough" to my secondary school friends, is because I desperately wanted to be part of the race, the group, the circle. I mean, I wasn't far apart in terms of our race. I was a little.. Different. And that was the pathetic reason why I never stood up for myself when I heard childish accusations being cast upon me. Insults in a different language cause no one bothered to even ask if I understood what they said. Well, of course I did. Every single utter. And of course I wasn't stupid when you guys whispered infront of me, or ask me to take care of the bags while ya'll stood 5 ft from me blabbering about what I said, did or didn't do. Insecure fucks, ya'll would blame me even for things I didn't do. And all I did was stay true to myself. Yet ya'll get angry when I decide to finally move on and get better friends that didn't have an only motive - to put me down. Cause what? If I'm lower than hell you magically feel superior? Then people ask, what went wrong along the way. Well, apologies that is. That was all I wanted. But no, cause brids of a feather flock together. If you didn't wanna admit the lies you insinuated and thrust to my well being. And after thinking leaving the clique was what they wanted, I find out I'm being casted with the "she ditch us" stamp across my face. Well I don't get what is expected of me.


Wow I finally got that all out after 3 years. I don't feel any better. But that's a chip of my mind.