Technically, it's my off day. And I have no idea what to do with it, cause all my off days are usually spent lazing in my best friends house, or watching a movie with him. But things aren't the same now. There's not enough space for two people. And someone has to go. His happiness's due. So I can't whine. It's okay. I'll live. But I just hope he'd say he'd be there for me and be there to protect me from whatever like last time. I just wish he'd send me good morning texts and ask how's my day. Check up on me. Tell me to take care when night falls and I'm still stuck at work. I wish he'd be back to the old him when I told him secrets I've never told anyone before, and when he said he'll be there forever. He'll protect me. And hush me to sleep when i wake up crying, or when the lightning or thunders strike cause I'm deadly afraid of them. I wish he'd be there. So I know I can count on him, just like he knows he can count on me. I want him to cheer me up when I've bad days, like how I try hard enough to cheer him up. Stead of him asking me to suck it up. Cause sometimes, sometimes.. I just Need the affection. And instead now I just stay awake after every nightmare cause I want to be the strong one. I take double shifts cause I don't want to complain about my aches. And I just smile, cause I've got alot of things to complain about.
Yes, I'm that not so perfect best friend who has issues.
I'm that girl who sometimes speaks before thinking
I'm that girl who carries feminism and grace like a hunters dead catch.
I'm that girl who has alot to complain about
yes I'm that girl that'll enjoy simple pleasures.
I'm that girl who sometimes comes off as mean.
And I'm that girl that's just lost. Torn between two sides, she overthinks.